The worst feeling ever is knowing that everyone is against you.
Sometimes i feel like everyone is slowly wanting to leave me.
I don’t even do bad things, and yet i feel like opinions towards me are changing.
Sometimes i feel like people don’t know or understand anything about me.
I seriously try really hard not to do anything that will hurt someone and it always fucking does.
Fuck everything.
Life is impossible.
My junior year is almost halfway over and i don’t know where the time went.
This has definitely been the strangest year in my life.
Lost friends, became closer with people, became more confident in who i am, figured out what i want to do with my life, started driving, and the list could go on.
Life is weird.
Time gets bolder, children get older; i’m getting older too.
Sometimes, i see people, happy people. I look at them and try to imagine what their life is like, and it makes me want to be that way. I look at what people do and think that that’s what i want to do when i’m older. When i think about being “older”, you know like having a career and living alone, it seems like i have so much time before i have to figure out any of that stuff. Then i really think about it, and i remember that it’s not far away, at all. In the next couple months i’ll be having to do things alot more independentely. I’ll have to drive myself everywhere, pay for things on my own, and it freaks me out. In about a year and a half, i’ll be moving to another state, by myself. That freaks me out even more. I think about the fact that i really have no idea what the real world is like, what it’s like to have to do everything for yourself. I think about how fun and exciting it will be, which it will, but sometimes i think that i have too high of expectations. I don’t think i’ll miss having to be told what to do all the time, or having someone nagging me to clean my room. It’s the little things. Like the simple words, “what do you want for dinner” or simply just hugging my parents for no reason at all. I know i’m getting a little ahead of myself, considering i still have some time, but i have felt like i don’t have to worry about anything for a long time, and i’m starting to realize that everything is passing me by really quickly. Growing up seems really fun, until you have to do it.
Haha i look like poop today, hoorah for being sick.
Oh lord, it’s only monday..
Looking foward to this weekend, it’s almost my birthday YEEEEEEEEEE.
Now someone help me answer this question:
Go to Florida for a month or don’t go..
Oh school, why do you have to suck so bad?
Well summer, it was nice knowing you. I had a good one.
School tomorrow, which means, goodbye to my life.
Successful day and night. Bonfires are my favorite.
I love my friends.
Perfect ending to my night.
Well, went to the school today and got my schedule and picture taken. I am not looking foward to this year. Definitely really thinking about homeschooling next semester to live in a huge house in Florida for a month..don’t get the chance to do something like that very often. Anyway, afterwards i went to Jared’s with everyone. Then i went with Jared, Gerard, Malia, Amanda, and Rebecca out to dinner at Chili’s. They only charged me 5 dollars for my 10 dollar salad, so i was pretty happy about that haha. And we got free dessert for Gerard’s birthday, my big 18 year old. hahahha. Then me, Amanda, Gerard, and Jared went into this game store and watched Amanda play a dog game and it was the funniest thing ever. Then we met Malia and Rebecca outside of Yumz and we just sat around and talked. It was a very good day! Summer is almost over and i really want to try to have as much fun as i can. I have a good feeling about tomorrow.
I want a friend who will pick me up in the middle of the night and take me on an adventure.
That would be nice.
